Friends Of Mount Guyot

I am disgusted and angry! Mount Guyot (pronounced Gee-o), standing at a majestic 4,580 is estimated to be the 16th tallest mountain in The White's of New Hampshire. The iconic AT (Apalachian Trail)runs right across it's magnificent summit. Yet, The Appalachian Mountain Club (AMC)refuses to recognize this beautiful summit peak as one of The NH 48 4,000 footers!

Why does a 4,580 foot mountain not count as a 4,000 foot mountain you may ask..Good question my inquisitive reader... Well it has something to do with some bullshit-egghead calculation that says a topographic prominence of 200 feet is required for the mountain to be considered a NH 4,000 footer. Huh??? What the fuck is that about?!?!?! So, I started reading about Topographic Prominence and as boredom oozed out my eyeballs I then realized, who gives a shit! The head of this wonderful hunk of stone and granite touches the sky at 4,580 feet..Big fucken deal if some topographist ( is that a word?) and AMC pinhead decided to exclude peaks based on some ridiculous formula... If it looks and smells and tastes like a chicken, it's a fucking chicken!!!

So I am starting a grassroots organization called "Friends of Guyot".. I plan to petition the AMC powers that be to include Guyot and maybe Little Haystack (4,800 feet!!!) as 4,000 foot mountains. If successful, we can change the name of the "New Hampshire 48" to The New Hampshire 50... 50 states, 50 mountains! Or if the AMC doesn't want to change it's 48, we can take a pick-ax to Tecumseh (4,003) and chop 4 feet of of the summit, making it only 3,999 feet, it's a shit hike anyways!.. and/or we can have them dump Owlshead all together, making many a peak-baggers life that much easier!!! 

To show my personal commitment to this project, I ask my trekker friends to officially dub me the trail name of "Captain Guyot". If the request to include Guyot as an official 4,000 footer is not granted, I will organize a protest and, complete with cool signs and bare-breasted woman (for media grabbing purposes only) we will picket and chant "INCLUDE GUYOT.. INCLUDE GUYOT" in front of the AMC building during the April patch award ceremony, disrupting the proceedings and making my qualifier friends, Meena and Ruby the Dog a bit angry!

If you are as passionate as I am about this quest, please pass this post along to like-minded folks.. Your help is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Neil Lovett

aka: "Captain Guyot"

A True Story

Don't know the names, so I don't need to protect the innocent, er' I mean ignorant.. but this conversation really took place ( I wrote down as much a possible)..These people thought they were talking intelligently, I swear they did!

Guy: If Obama wasn't born in The United States, how the hell is he President

Girl: I'm not saying the KKK did things right, but I think this wouldn't be happening to us if they were still a group.

Guy: I wouldn't go down south if I was him

Girl: He was just in Deleware

Guy: Well at least he's brave

The Day The Music Died

on september 11, 2001 fucking crazies attacked the town i was born in

and they killed everyone

and we all cried

and we all changed

i watched as the towers fell, crumbling like fiery cidadels in hell

and soot-covered businessmen wandered aimlessly home

i watched fireman run up the molten stairs of death

and cnn's elizabeth cohen cried as she interviewed 100's of fragile, confused souls

whose lost family members would never return

and live fathers mothers sons and daughters jumped from skyscraper buildings and became insignificant ingredients in a hideous rubble-stew

i watched that on tv

like the nameless, faceless fireman who ran up to death's door

nameless faceless airline passengers did the same in the skies above pennsylvania

we couldn't see that on tv

but we all cried

and today september 12 2010 this scene will play out again

not in new york city or

washington dc or in pennsylvania america

but maybe in mogadishu

or bagdad

or london

or off the gulf coast of louisiana

it will happen again

it always does

and nameless faceless people will die

and fragile/confused souls will wonder when their loved ones will come home

and they won't

and they will cry

and change

these times.. it won't be as personal to you

to us

but it will be to them

Modern Time Dharma Bums

"Try the meditation of the trail, just walk along looking at the trail at your feet and don't look about and just fall into a trance as the ground zips by. trails are like that, you're floating along a Shakespearian Ardin paradise and expect to see nymphs and fluteboys, then suddenly you're struggling in a hot broiling sun of hell in dust and nettles and poison oak... just like life"

I'm adding.. "just like life and marriage"

The original verse are the words of Jack Kerouac from "The Dharma Bums", one of my favorite books. I just read that verse again, this time in "Born To Run" by Christopher McDougall, one of my new favorite books.... Those words inspired me to write this..

Marriage, like life is a vision of sea nymphs and fluteboys.. but as the verse says, it can also be fucked up like the boiling sun of hell and poison oak... So, what better place to hold a wedding than the stage of Kerouac's above written prose, the trail! Brilliant Meena and Dan!!... without knowing it or maybe with knowing it, you kicked off and staged the rest of your lives like any good Dharma Bum, on the road, and on this particular day.. the road/trail/mountain was inclusive of potential good and bad.. a possible hurricane, ever-changing skies.. one minute beautiful skies colored in aqua-grey-black-white and teal.. the next moment damp, black and menacing.. breathtaking panoramic landscape.. nasty fog and wind. In fact hurricane Earl actually looked on.. realizing his wrath wouldn't dampen spirits, only add to resolve and because of that he hovered, just a benign observer.... Humm..The fluteboys/sea nymphs and the hot broiling sun/poison oak Kerouac spoke of....

The hike to the destination was not easy, in fact it was hard and steep.. it taxed your physical and mental self.. but it was a journey set out to be conquered because the potential positives far outweighed the the potential negatives.. and that included weathering whatever Earl decided to throw at us...

So my friends it won't always be sea nymphs and fluteboys, but always remember this union started on a rocky trail wrought with potential disaster and it ended in euphoria and a greater sense of accomplishment about what was done....

You can be truly Dharma Bums, modern day Buddha's, searching together for.............