I am disgusted and angry! Mount Guyot (pronounced Gee-o), standing at a majestic 4,580 is estimated to be the 16th tallest mountain in The White's of New Hampshire. The iconic AT (Apalachian Trail)runs right across it's magnificent summit. Yet, The Appalachian Mountain Club (AMC)refuses to recognize this beautiful summit peak as one of The NH 48 4,000 footers!
Why does a 4,580 foot mountain not count as a 4,000 foot mountain you may ask..Good question my inquisitive reader... Well it has something to do with some bullshit-egghead calculation that says a topographic prominence of 200 feet is required for the mountain to be considered a NH 4,000 footer. Huh??? What the fuck is that about?!?!?! So, I started reading about Topographic Prominence and as boredom oozed out my eyeballs I then realized, who gives a shit! The head of this wonderful hunk of stone and granite touches the sky at 4,580 feet..Big fucken deal if some topographist ( is that a word?) and AMC pinhead decided to exclude peaks based on some ridiculous formula... If it looks and smells and tastes like a chicken, it's a fucking chicken!!!
So I am starting a grassroots organization called "Friends of Guyot".. I plan to petition the AMC powers that be to include Guyot and maybe Little Haystack (4,800 feet!!!) as 4,000 foot mountains. If successful, we can change the name of the "New Hampshire 48" to The New Hampshire 50... 50 states, 50 mountains! Or if the AMC doesn't want to change it's 48, we can take a pick-ax to Tecumseh (4,003) and chop 4 feet of of the summit, making it only 3,999 feet, it's a shit hike anyways!.. and/or we can have them dump Owlshead all together, making many a peak-baggers life that much easier!!!
To show my personal commitment to this project, I ask my trekker friends to officially dub me the trail name of "Captain Guyot". If the request to include Guyot as an official 4,000 footer is not granted, I will organize a protest and, complete with cool signs and bare-breasted woman (for media grabbing purposes only) we will picket and chant "INCLUDE GUYOT.. INCLUDE GUYOT" in front of the AMC building during the April patch award ceremony, disrupting the proceedings and making my qualifier friends, Meena and Ruby the Dog a bit angry!
If you are as passionate as I am about this quest, please pass this post along to like-minded folks.. Your help is greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
Neil Lovett
aka: "Captain Guyot"
No comments:
Post a Comment